The Supermarket

I went to the supermarket today so you don't have to. In liu of live-tweeting societal breakdown, here are some hopefully amusing vignettes.

Cleaning wipes were available upon entering the store. They have not yet been stolen unlike the whole hand sanitizer dispenser stand at the Safeway down the street. I think they were actually moist dryer sheets, but the hospitality was still appreciated.

All the bottled water was gone. No, bottled water is not needed.

Everyone keeps asking me if I have enough toilet paper. I respond "How much is enough toilet paper?" Everyone laughs. No one answers. I may never ever know.

The groceries I buy regularly have a suspicious overlap with the list of recommended emergency non-perishables. It's unclear if my diet is just constantly in a state of emergency.

There is only one worthwhile brownie mix, Ghirardelli triple chocolate:

Chicken? Running low. Breaded pre-cut frozen chicken in cute dinosaur shapes? Running right into my tummy.

What does it say about us when the only soups left on the shelf are Campbell's chicken noodle and all the Campbell's Chunky™? What does it say about me that those are the only soups I buy?

There are debates in the world that will likely never end. Coke vs Pepsi. Waffles vs pancakes. T-Rex vs Velociraptor. Prego vs Ragu is now definitively over. Even the mushroom-flavored Prego was gone.

Oreos are not a panic buy. Not even the double-stuffed. I'm unclear why not.

I was surprised the store-brand thin crust pizzas I like were sold out until I remembered I was at a different brand store.

There's nothing like a disaster to make us re-evaluate our priorities and judge what's really important. Avocados.

People will risk leaving the safety of their homes to scavenge through a desert of groceries for milk and eggs in order to avoid just-add-water Bisquick pancakes.

"Did you find everything you were looking for today?"

My bank notified me of a suspicious transaction. I think it's because I spent money on groceries.