From clientsfromhell:
Me: "Ok, we've pushed the site live."
Client: "Why isn't the site #1 on Google yet?"
Me: "We just pushed it live five minutes ago."
Client: "Optimize the fireball."
Me: "I'm sorry? Do you mean the firewall?"
Client: "I need more hits NOW, so I need you to optimize the fireball. I know what I'm talking about!"
Me: "We'll get right on it."